May Days

May just sort of seems like a blur.  Selling your house puts you in a funny sort of in between state. And after 2 months of back and forth to Katy and in between 2 houses we are ready to get this show on the road. But alas, the housing market stinks for sellers right now so we are stuck exercising patience and finding things to do/places to go during showings/open houses.
The Houston zoo is one of our favorites. If you haven't been, check it out, it is really cool. So many neat exhibits, especially their new African Rain forest exhibit, and a great children's area with petting zoo and a carousel. Here are a few pics at the zoo!

We also went to the Houston annual Art Car Show in May. We had never been before, but heard good things, and we were so glad we checked it out! It was very cool! We had a nice lunch by the duck pond, checked out some of the booths and stayed for most of the parade.  Here are the pics. You can decide which of the cars was your favorite. Mine is a toss up between Elvis and the peeps covered car. 

Watching some ducks

waiting for the parade

Here come the cars...

*this car had all the singing fish going in unison!

These are all easter PEEPS. so funny!

For more pictures or info about the Houston art car show, here is the link! 

Courage

I have been thinking a lot about the many women in my life who share in the struggle to start or expand their families. Infertility, miscarriage, the hell of adoption, a difficult pregnancy, the loss of a newborn.... The spectrum of this kind of trial is broad and I would dare say there are few of us who haven't been affected personally or have had someone close go through one or more of the above. My dear sisters, cousins, friends, and women sitting across from me at the fertility clinic...  this blog post is for you.

Not to take away from the significance that these experiences have on our male counterparts, but I think that as a woman there is something specifically painful and personal about not being able to easily conceive and bear a child. It doesn't matter if you alway wanted to be a mother of 5 or found out later in life that a child was something you wanted in your life. Realizing that you are in the group where motherhood wont come easily to you  hugely sucks. It consumes your emotions and your thoughts, makes you feel out of control of your own life and body, and more than anything makes you want to go vigilante on the women in the news who harm their children and curse the fertility gods when you hear about a 16 year old girl on her 3 unwanted pregnancy. I have been there. I have cried myself to sleep. I have avoided baby showers like the plague. I have prayed more fervently then ever before in my life. And at the end of the 3 years, thousands of dollars of treatments, and a very patient husband, I was lucky. I had a beautiful son. And he is wonderful and I am so grateful he is here. But looking back on the experience, and getting prepared to start fertility treatments again, I see something new. Having a child was only one of the blessings I was given through this experience. I see that this trial, the same one I cursed for so long, has enabled me. It has given me strength. It has taught me courage. And although it sounds super cheesy, I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not gained the perspective the trial forced me to learn.  
And so to those of you out there who are somewhere on this spectrum and feeling anything like I did. Here is a note of encouragement to you. You are stronger than you know. You are not alone. You are in my thoughts and my fingers are continually crossed for you.
With love,
Jan

Growing in to 30

I recently got my hair cut. I had been growing it out for the last 2+ years as somesort of dramatic self discovery/ coming to the end of my 20's desire to see how long hair made me feel. Who knows maybe long hair was the missing link that would instantly make me feel more beautiful, intelligent, confident or more settled in to my 30's.  I even fantasized that when I was done growing it really long I would chop it and donate it to make wigs for kids with cancer or something else selfless and kind. That would be awesome, and totally help justify my otherwise narcissistic hair growing rampage. During this rampage I tried many variations of bangs and layers and even dyed my hair dark brown. I figured anything was better than going back to my old short blonde hair style that has stuck with me just like hoodies and flip flops for the past 2 decades. And then... last week I was sitting at a hair salon for a trim and I found myself telling the stylist... "just highlight it blonde and chop it all off. I am tired of my quest for long hair. I don't know how to style it or manage it, and the truth be told I really don't like how it looks on me." And so she did. And ironically I LOVE IT! I know it is just hair, but I feel more like myself than I have in a while. I have realized that maybe I was taking the "growing" a little bit too literally. I didn't need to change/grow my hair to change and grow as a person. And having the same old boring hair definitely doesn't mean that I am still the same person I was back in high school, or even the same person I was 7 years ago when I got married.  And so with my 30th birthday behind me I feel happy as I reflect on who I am now and who I hope to grow into during my 30's besides someone who still loves hoodies, flip flops and a low maintenance short hair style....

Here is a 30 year old me and the new version of my old haircut.